Wait! This isn't Evangelion...
by JDHGamer
Summary: If you took all the characters and placed them in a blender, perhaps you'd get this.


Wait! This isn't Evangelion...  
By JDHGamer  
  
JDHGamer: This is what happens when you switch the character's situations and personalities around to create a whole new universe.  
  
Now, I'll begin with a short summary of some of the character changes:  
  
Asuka: A lot like Shinji  
  
Shinji: A Rei/Misato hybrid  
  
Rei: Like...*clinges* Asuka...except still a clone, and still talking with a strange, spooky, montone voice...  
  
Misato: Organized near to the point of being obsessive compulsive.  
  
Gendo: Is second in command, like Fuyuzuki  
  
Fuyukuki: Is in command and is Asuka's father, he likes to play God...a little too much.  
  
Other switches:   
Kensuke and Touji  
Maya and Hikari  
  
And as far as everyone else, there will probably just be little changes to there characters, mostly reversals.  
  
Also, please note that this is not entirely a parody, although sometimes it will have funny parts and usually these parts will involve the changes in the characters. Also, I'd like to note that this is NOT going to be like most fan fictions that I've read where characters are changed around, where they follow the original plot exactly and just change around a few character interactions, to a degree, it is, but to another degree, it will expand on the changes and emphasize them. That and I'm not going to rely on the script, rather what I remember, and what I know the characters are going to be like in this story. I also will probably skip around a bit so that I can get through to the end of the series and the movie, but that doesn't mean this wont be a long process, it just means I want to go through the characters and stuff. Whatever, let's go:  
  
"Sorry, due to the state of emergency, the phone system is temporarily unavaible."  
  
"Just what the hell is going on?" Asuka asked no one in particular,"First I get this letter from some woman called Misato and then there's a state of emergency, and she's not even on time!"  
  
BOOM!!!  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Asuka yelled, seeing a giant...giant...THING, walking around crashing buildings, then some helicopters trying, apparently in vain, to destroy it.  
Just then, a car pulled up, it was Misato. "Sorry if I'm late," She said.  
"No, actually, you're right on time!"  
  
"The helicopters aren't working!"  
"Then nuke the bastard! We've got to destroy it at all costs!"  
"But he's in a residential area!"  
"Well, get him out of the residential area, then nuke him!"  
"But..."  
"Just nuke him! Nuke him! NUKE HIM!"  
"Alright man obsessed with nuclear weapons."  
  
"What the? GET DOWN!" Misato said.  
Fortunately, the car had a lead coating inside it and the windows (they made it radiation-proof, just in case such an event were to happen. Better safe than sorry).  
When the explosion was over, they put on radiation suites and pushed the car back over.  
  
"Yahoo! We did it..."  
The screen came back on, the Angel was still standing.  
"Oh shit we didn't..."  
  
"Why did we steal those batteries?"  
"Because...um...we need them, it's official Nerv buisiness and stuff."  
"I don't think anyone will buy that excuse."  
"Well, we'll return them as soon as we're finished using them."  
"Right..."  
  
"Where's the bitch who stole my f**kin' batteries! I'll kill her!"  
  
"The Third Children has arrived, sir."  
"Third Children?" Fuyuzuki said, "Mayuka we should stop calling each of them the children, it just doesn't sound like proper english, let's say the Third Child."  
"Okay, the Third Child has arrived, sir."  
"Much better."  
  
"So you haven't seen your father in 5 years?"  
"Nope, and I'm not really excited to see him right now..."  
"Why?"  
"Would you like your father if he abandoned you for 5 years?"  
"Guess not..."  
"So how exactly do you feel about this..."  
"None of your buisiness."  
"Ah, none of your buisiness, that's a good feeling to have."  
"Don't be such a smartass."  
"Sorry..."  
Asuka wasn't in a very good mood at that momment, and she was just putting on an act, she knew, really...she didn't know how to feel about it...so she just went with pissed.  
  
While they were heading toward...well, wherever they were going, they ran into Ritsuko, who was looking rather lost.  
"Lost again, Ritsuko?" Misato asked.  
"No...I was just...uhm...okay, I'm lost."  
"Thought so, just follow me."  
  
"It's rather dark in here, could someone please...OHMIGAWD!" Asuka said.  
"Cool, huh?"  
"It's a giant face!"  
She flipped through the Nerv handbook she was given by Misato.  
"You wont find anything about it in there." Ritsuko said.  
"Because officialy, this thing doesn't exist." Fuyuzuki said, coming out onto an overhead balcony, his voice booming as if he somehow thought his was the voice of God.  
"Father!"  
"Daughter..."  
"What do you want from me now...I mean, you obviously want SOMETHING!"  
"Haven't you guessed?" Fuyuzuki said,"I want you to pilot the Eva."  
"What, this thing!"  
"Of course."  
"And why should I?"  
"Maybe because the world depends on it."  
"What if I don't give a rat's ass what happens to the world?"  
"Your loss then...and ours..."  
"How can you expect me, after all you've done, to go along with this shit!"  
"I don't...just thought I'd give it a try."  
"Asuka, you're our only hope! You have to do it!"  
"No she doesn't...there's still Rei."  
"But she's injured!"  
"Injured, not dead."  
"Rei!"  
"Yes?"  
"We need you again..."  
"Okay..."  
In a few minutes they wheeled Rei in...  
"What the? You aren't putting her in there, are you?"  
"We have no choice, you don't give a rat's ass, remember?"  
"Well...this...uh..."  
  
CRASH!  
  
A piece of the wall came crashing, down, Asuka pushed Rei out of harm's way, but by doing that got in harm's way herself. But just before it got to her, a giant arm block the debris.  
Asuka gasped, half from shock and half from relief. She looked ever at Rei, she was so...helpless...  
(I musn't run away...I musn't run away...I musn't run away...I MUSN'T RUN AWAY!)  
"Okay...I'll do it, I'll pilot the f**king thing!"  
"Good girl."  
  
To be continued...  
  
JDHGamer: That was so interesting...and also, a bit more Americanized with the language. lol  
As you can see, only the f-word is censored, to keep the PG-13 rating. In the next episode we chronicle the first battle and perhaps even the first day of school. 


End file.
